Looking For A Better Way To Get Up Out Of Bed Instead Of Getting On The Internet And Checking A New Hit Me: Finally Found It

A friend of mine taught me a cool technique recently. Instead of reaching for Fbook/email/Instagram first thing after the alarm goes off.

Step 1: Put down the cell phone after disarming the alarm.

Step 2: Take 10 deep, slow, mindful breaths.

Step 3: Focus on what you want to do this morning, visualize your ritual, consider the sequence, consider the significance of each action.

Try this one morning.
If it doesn't work for you I will gladly refund twice what you paid for this advice.

The Civic Critic: Blue Star Donuts on Hawthorne

I don't generally advertise this fact, but I love Donuts. I remember when Krispy Kreme came to the Northeast when I was a kid, it was literally a revelation.

This past January, when the family-owned Chinese Restaurant on Hawthorne posted a notice in the window that they would close down for good, forced out by ballooning rent, I was of course saddened. However in a city that is blowing up this isn't a unique story.

Shortly after they closed work began on what would become another location of Blue Star Donuts. For the cynic inside of me this was too much:
"Of course we need another coffee & donuts place right in-between the Peet's and the Starbucks on Hawthorne!"

But when the furnishings started going in I couldn't wait for opening day. A friend had advised me that Blue Star on the west side had some of the best doughnuts around, but I had never made it there.

Now of course something must be said about Portland's most famous doughnut shop: Voodoo.
When I first came here I was enamored of it, as a local the $5 and later $8 bucket of day-olds seemed like a steal. Repeated exposure to the donuts made me realize that while innovative they were sometimes good, sometimes bad (Double bubble flavor?) and never mind-blowing. I stopped indulging.

Of course I found other donuts to explore, Annie's in NE was nice, classic, unpretentious, but merely good. Donut Queen in a little hut next to 7-11 at East Burnside and 60th has even better classic donuts and a charming Vietnamese proprietor. A visit is recommended for all, if only to chat with him.

This week (2 months ago) I finally got around to check out Blue Star. After driving a friend to the airport I showed up at 6am to look in upon the baking team in action. The hand written sign on the door made it clear, donuts start at 8am. The glass frontage allowed me to give the body language of 'WTF' to the man at the counter. He shrugged back, implying: "yeah were closed, can't you see us working the dough right now?"

Seriously only in Portland could a donut shop get away with this. Typical morning rush for donuts is pre-work. Tall coffees to perk up the brain and a dozen for the officemates. Really though this was a telling sign about Blue Star.

Like Voodoo, its not a donut shop in the traditional sense. Blue Star is more of a luxury, an artisanal creation, and the prices echo this fact.
They don't want you to grab-and-go for a breakfast in the car, because how could you appreciate their hand-crafted donuts if you did?

They probably also don't want you to order a dozen (even though you can buy 12 and get a 10% discount). Blue Star is only open until the product sells out, so if they did a steady business by the dozen they would probably piss off a lot of potential customers later in the day.

The Donuts:

The Old Fashioned Buttermilk is gigantic, one of the biggest non-fritter donuts I have seen. It is also amazing. The crumb is dense but not too heavy, like a rich pound cake without the acidity which sometimes plagues this style. The oily/crispy crust and thinly applied glaze stuck a perfect harmonious chord of donut bliss.

The Citrus/Widmer Hefe was a special donut for Portland Beer Week. The cake was less rich than the old fashioned but retained terrific moisture and a perfect crumb. The beer element was light enough to be just barely there and the lemony icing too wasn't overwhelming. A nice donut but the multiple elements never felt like they came together in a coherent taste.

The Blueberry Bourbon Basil glazed donut is a customer favorite. The glaze has rich fruit color and a delicious creamy and not too-sweet mouthfeel. The star ingredients play nicely together with the herbaceous basil balancing the tart fruit notes from the blueberries, a hint of bourbon helps balance out this perfect melody. The yeast risen donut base doesn't really do it for me, and this is true for all yeast risen donuts at Blue Star. I taste a slight off flavor in them but that is likely just my mind playing tricks. I have such an attachment to Krispy Kreme yeast risen doughnuts that all others just taste wrong. Friends of mine love the yeast risen donuts at Blue Star.

The Fried Chicken Donut takes up prominent wall space as a featured item. It takes a few minutes to make, this is one donut shop with a cooked-to-order experience! Unfortunately this donut was a disappointment for me, I had dreamed of a luscious piece of fried chicken leg but instead got a cut up fried tender/breast. It is served on top of a glazed yeast risen donut, and while some carb with my protein is always nice and drowning the whole thing in Franks Red Hot Sauce makes a gloppy good mess, the glaze's sweetness is out of place in this dish. If you want to try it I would ask that they make it for you with an unglazed yeast risen donut.

The Marionberry Filled with Peanut Dust. When I ordered this donut I was expecting a nice local/fresh marionberry experience and was confused by the idea of the dust. One bite and I was left smiling and laughing, It's PB&J in your mouth. The yeast risen donut provides the carbs and the peanut dust hydrates in your mouth mixing with the sweet berry filling. Grade-school memories flood forth. This donut is a pure delight, and was for me a total surprise. Having it with a glass of The Funky Buddha Lounge and Brewery's No Crusts would probably be the best thing ever.      

A friend had insisted I try the Crème Brûlée donut. Since I didn't see one I asked the server about it. The cook said she could make one for me, though it would take 5 minutes. She didn't seem super-enthused when I said of course I'd wait for the donut, but she made it anyway. Service points scored, tip earned.

What I got was a creme-filled with a burnt sugar crust and a disposable eyedropper full of sugar water sticking out the top. This strange appearance was a true sign of what was to come: This was indeed a novelty donut. The creme in the middle was too much like vanilla custard/boston creme and not enough like the rich vanilla-scented creme of the eponymous desert. The sugar water injection appeared to serve no purpose other than to thin the filling out and force it out of the front of the donut, making a mess. Maybe I didn't get that this is the whole point, the donut is really a pastry gun that pushes creme into your mouth. The burnt sugar top was a nice contrasting flavor and texture but it couldn't save this donut from being a mess. The three elements, doughnut, filling and sugar crust just never worked together in harmony.

And then you're left with a piece of plastic to throw away at the end (The disposable eyedropper). Voodoo has some gimmicky donuts but at least no part of them has to end up in a landfill at the end of the day. On this note Blue Star earns some serious demerits. There was a bin by the coffee station (Stumptown regular or decaf is what you get), but it had no markings. On the wall there were two nearly-identical blue bins, one had a recycling symbol while the other had no markings. I asked the cashier about compost, and which bin was which. He struggled to explain the system which is in fact a lack of a system. I looked in the recycle bin, to find it was full of empty paper coffee cups, which are of course not recyclable due to their plastic lining. I put mine in the trash. Fortunately it was trash day and there were bins out front so I walked out and put my greasy parchment paper in the green compost bin. At the bottom I saw some dough remnants. It was Blue Stars' own compost bin! I'm not-sorry... in Portland this doesn't cut it, especially for a place which generates mostly compostables (soiled paper, dirty napkins, crumbs). [Update: I was hopeful that this situation would be sorted out after the frantic opening weeks had passed. Unfortunately two months later I must report that there has been no change.]

One note on the Decor. The shop is small but has a nice enough bathroom. The sterile white look is a bit shocking to the eyes but makes the space feel bigger. The all-glass front opens up the store to the street and provides for ample people-watching, which is always an enjoyable pastime on Hawthorne. Blue Star's interior makes it clear this is not a "third space" the stools are uncomfortable for a longer sit, the seating is limited and there are no electricity outlets or wifi. It's as if they are saying, "This is our house, line up, bow down, make your offering, eat your donut, and leave."

For the orgasmic delight which is their Buttermilk Old Fashioned, I will do so with pleasure.

Why We Do Awesome Things

As if doing awesome things needed defending. But since I've quit my job it seems that life has been full of awesome adventures and things like: Pedalpalooza rides; Birthday every-brewery-in-Portland bike tour; What The Festival.

Why?

Is it simply a way to fill the time? I can say from my experience that this is not the case. The last time I quit my job I found that it was really easy to fill the time with weed, food and Netflix. Its far harder to do awesome things; for one it requires getting out of your house every once in a while. But seriously it is stressful, at least for me, where I am at now. I have felt the cortisol flow through my body this past week. In fact I'm almost tempted to go for the vanilla Ice Cream right now (it is still 77° past 1 in the morning).

The answer starts here: For the past year I have said, both to myself and out loud, that If I were to die this instant I could be grateful for a lifetimes worth of rich experiences. And its not just something I've said, I truly believe and inhabit this mind-state. I am fortunate to have had so many experiences, more than most people get in a lifetime. Sure I have things I'd like to do next week, next month, next year. But I don't feel the hunger, that I've been deprived. No desire to plead with the Angel of Death, "Please, I need more time, I haven't yet _____."

A few years ago back in Rhode Island one of the phrases I was working with was:

Live every day as if it were your last.

I made it my own by transmuting it into,
"I could be dead on the side oftomorrow."

I worked with the phrase but I'm not sure how deeply it affected me.
It was during this period that I certainly saw the phrase in the light of how not to do it. Shortly after I started working at the factory one of the shift leaders Rob was retiring.

He wasn't more than 55 years old. The story I accrued was that he had lived stingily for many years while pouring his heart and money into the dream of an early retirement in Florida. He had even spent his vacation day in Florida working on the house. He had finally built the house of his dreams and saved up enough for him and his wife to move down there, live thriftily, work part-time and just relax. For Rob the rat race was over.

I was of course happy for his retirement, and sad to loose a great co-worker and mentor, but I couldn't for the life of me understand his scheme. What if his wife got cancer next month? What if a hurricane came along? What if he was dead on the side of 95 tomorrow?
Would all the stay-in dinner-from-a-can nights have been worth it? It seems to me that life is to uncertain (tenuous?) to put all your eggs in one basket like Rob did.

I think I finally understand on a deep level "live each day as if it were your last" because I'm living it. I'm not building my dream day by day through deprivation
I'm living it for me and the world through exultation